I had to go to Santa Fe a few days ago and pick up Kimberly’s cross. I guess the school wanted them moved by the start of term or whatever. They had said that the crosses would stay on the property permanently.
It’s another item I have in my possession that I would really rather not have. I have an urn, an American flag from the Texas capital, a bunch of rocks with her name on them, artwork, a metal cross made from horseshoes. I could go on. But I won’t. I would much rather have Kimberly back with me than have these things in my apartment. Some of them are really nice, and some are not. There are some things that just drive me nuts and I pass them on to other family or friends. I recently gave a bunch of SF stickers to actors from the Harry Potter movies.
Going through all these items is always very hard. There’s almost always tears involved. Today, reading the comments on her cross was just too much. Other Girl Scouts, her friends, her teachers, they all wrote such nice things on the cross. But again, she shouldn’t have to have a cross. She should have normal teenager things like a summer job, a learners’ permit to drive the car, a cat in her lap, a stash of candy under her mattress (she always thought she was hiding it from me, HA HA)
Sometimes it’s hard to realize that she’s really gone. I spent most of the summer thinking that she was away at resident camp. Now school starts on Monday and I know she’s not coming back. Saturday is three months post shooting, and it’s the day before my birthday. I’m sure that will be an emotional day.