It’s time to replace “If” with “that” in 2019

Yknow when you’re apologizing because you got called out for being questionable and you’re stumbling through all embarrassed with something along the lines of “I’m sorry if I hurt you“? Yeah, well it’s time to never say that again.

In 2019, we are taking responsibility for our actions. In 2019, we are replacing “if” with “that.”

Y’see, folks, when you place an if in the sentence, you are leaving it on the hurt to validate your sentence and its need while you should really be placing the responsibility of the sentence’s validity on yourself. “I’m sorry that I hurt you” sounds far more sincere and shows you are recognizing your own actions, owning up to them, and making amends for them. This year, make an effort to not have to get called out before you make an apology. In general, you should be able to recognize the signs of a situation where an apology is needed. Sometimes, we have to get called out before overcoming our embarrassment enough to make an apology. Don’t let it get that far, if you can help.


I will include to remind everyone that the autism spectrum exists, the greater disabled community exists, and some folks legitimately don’t recognize when there is need for an apology. If you are in a situation where you feel you are due an apology but aren’t receiving one, consider a way to request one that is mindful of people who aren’t the perfect cookie-cut gingerbread friend.

It is also equally vital to recall that sometimes, there is nothing to be done to help, and sometimes, you don’t owe the other any help. I’m referring in this case to abuse victims in their efforts to escape their abusers. *Please be mindful of your exit plan and if possible, have a buddy.*

Let’s do some test runs:

Ouch, you hurt me.

I’m sorry that I hurt you.

Ouch, you hurt me.

I’m sorry that I hurt you, is there something I can do to help?

Ouch, you hurt me.

I did?

Yes, that hurt. I feel hurt. I’d appreciate an apology.

I’m sorry that I hurt you, is there anything that could make this better?

Hey, why are you being mean to me? All I ever do is give you what you deserve and make sure you’re cared for.

I’m sorry that your feelings were hurt, but this was in defense of myself. I am caring for myself by standing up to you and leaving this situation.

Ouch, you hurt me.

Sorry, man, my fault. How can I help?

2019, folks.

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